not finding time to be here at all lately which I know is completely rubbish of me, but I do read your blogs honest. I am really hoping for moments of calm come July but that is a long story.
Just letting you know Im not dead and hope everyone is well.
Teeeeeny aside…
How many Spaniards to change a lightbulb?
Juaaaaaaaaan.
As unfunny as ever aint I ;O)
ooooooooooh and also I was at this and the vid just really doesnt do justice to how mint Brendan can sing!!
So Bonjourno fair bloggy folk. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Hope everyone had a fabbo christmas.
Mine was pretty fab with the usual eating, drinking, mass get togethers and over indulgence of all kinds. Sadly I did manage to incur a pretty serious finger sprain playing with a cracker spinning top, trying to get it to go for ages and ages (yep I am that easy amused), but never fear Im almost completely recovered. Enough to type anyway you lucky things.
My daughter’s new years resolution is apparently to become a pirate. However having looked into this further it turns out her idea of piracy is actually stowing away on a cruise ship and eating all the shrimp.
Did anyone happen to catch a film called the Curse of the Cat People? Old black and white thing, with very little to do with curses and nothing to do with cats at all. Has to be my most random bit of viewing over the hols, although I have to be honest I didnt watch much telly cos it was all pretty much rubbish.
So Monday night just gone, went out with a bunch of mates up to the pub. Having over indulged for what seemed like weeks before hand I was on a bit of a health kick (I should point out this in no way includes anything alcoholic just food). So basically what Im saying was Id had a jacket spud and salad for tea and then went out and binged. Needless to say I got completely slaughtered, much more than at any point over Christmas. By the end of the evening I remember being sat opposite a friend of mine’s daughter and two of her friends. Young and impressionable minds. Its all a bit hazey, but I do remember thinking I was the funniest thing ever (which in the cold light of morning meant they were probably pointing and laughing at me) and also giving the lad advice to stand firm with his girlfriend… about something. He wandered out going ‘yes yes Ill stand firm’ and I was saying ‘yes indeed you stand firm’ on what issue your guess is as good as anyones.
Todays blog is brought to you by the world of Random Musings in association with A Couple of Glasses of Wine.
So yeah… Ive dug my way up from under the patio to return to blog land. To be honest Im patting myself on the back for remembering my password.
Excuses for not blogging for so long are as follows:
Ive been decorating (although that was a few weeks ago)
Ive been getting ready for Christmas (although Im mostly organised now)
I ate an orange. (Random Fact No. 1)
Thats as good as its getting sorry folks ;O) So anyway, I know Christmas is the big thing on everyones minds but Im gonna bypass that for now, cos Im feeling a bit random.
First Im gonna post this (if itll let me) cos my current playlist consists of Vocaloid stuff (random fact 2). If youve never heard of the vocaloids basically theyre the result of a computer programme, and the one on this vid with the flowing blue hair is one of the biggest selling ‘artists’ in Japan. I use the word artist very loosely because I think artists designed her rather than shes one herself… cos shes not reeeeeeal. I think Vocaloids are probably a bit of a marmite type thing, but personally I love em. I love the fact that people take this amazing technology and use it to have fun. Go the Japanese with all their crazy 
So have you heard about all the feet washing up on the Canadian shore (random fact 3)? Theres been about 7 as far as I remember, and the authorities are beginning to suspect foul play. O Rly?
Tonight I decorated my gingerbread house. Badly (random fact 4).
Oh and the most random thing of the blog… My mother appears to have a portal in her spare room (random fact 5). She dropped a small key in there and couldnt find it anywhere. I thought her and my dad were being inept looking for it, but in fact theyd pulled carpets up and all sorts they were so nonplussed. Had a look myself and its just gone. My niece is now refusing to sleep in that room in case she disappears too. In her defence at eight Id have probably wondered that myself.
Oh and the big science news is obviously they may have maybe found evidence that the God particle possibly may exist pending more evidence. Or they could have just dropped more bread crumbs in the hadron collider (true story). My mam was talking about it the other day and she said she doesnt believe in science (random fact number wine). I wonder if she believes in her various medications or theyll disappear in a puff of her wierd logic too. Maybe she didnt believe in that key I mentioned earlier.
So on Sunday (which also happens to be my birthday) Im goin to see Friendly Fires. Wasnt planned that way but the original gig was cancelled cos the singer had a bit of a dodgy throat (aw bless and random fact number ‘Im getting the munchies’) and just happened to be rescheduled for the day of my birthing. Thing is I totally loved the most recent album and Im expecting a really good gig, but I have a bit of a problem with the way the lead singer dances. I feel he looks alot like a child in desperate need of a wee. I may have to spend the evening facing the bar at the back or Im just gonna snigger all night (which is a distinct possibility anyway to be fair).
Seriously… stick with it the mans got some mooooves….
Right I think Ive rambled quite enough, but Ill definitely be back this week to have a hop round and answer a few emails and basically stop being an ignorant git.
Ya remember that Billie Piper piece of trash where she just kept saying ‘because we want to’ ? Well its stuck in my head and I cant seem to exorcise it (which I feel is the right choice of word considering how God awful it is.) I do wonder if what she wanted to do at that point in time was marry an annoying bloke almost old enough to be her dad and be divorced by the time she was 7, but Im digressing as I have a habit of doing.
So today I have been mostly doing nothing (aside from a bit of tidying), and as its not quite time to hit the bottle yet I thought Id fill a few minutes by typin a quick bloggy. If youve ever considered writhing the keys off your keyboard with a knife just to give them a really good clean I would advise you think long and hard. My keyboard was vile and manky and had pink paint splattered on it (cos yeah I take really good care of my shit man) and I feared for the health of myself, my loved ones, anyone that had the misfortune to use it and possibly anyone in the surrounding toxic area.
What was underneath was a mixture of crumbs, fag ash and a sort of fluffy dusty life form that didnt wanna go up the hoover til I poked it with a pen. Thats not the point of this cautionary tale though, the point is that when you use a keyboard every day you think you know whats on it. When it was time to put the keys back on it occurred to me that taking a good clear photo of it before I removed them might have been a good idea. Took flippin aaaaaages to work out where they all went and Im pretty sure theres a couple not in the right place, but seeing as they arent ones I use (or Id probably have known where they went) I dont suppose it matters. Just dont come round my house if you have any important typing to do cos theres a fairly good chance itll go horribly wrong.
Anyway, this made me snigger….
Its all different here since last time I did a post. Took me a while to find my way. However now Im here I shall fill you all in on the goings on of late.
Girlchild survived the scuba diving in Ibiza and the underwater pictures made me howl laughing cos basically the bubbles on either side of her head made her hair stand up in a point on every single one of em. Also she’s got a job (HUZZAAAAAAH!). Its just part time but enough to tide her over til she finds something she likes more.
Boychild has settled nicely into uni so thats my two big worries from over the summer gone so another rip roaring HUZZAAAAAAAAAAH!
Moving along, couple of weeks ago I wandered into the Monday night pub, and it was really quiet. Usually on Mondays they have a darts/pool/dominoes competition which they play for meat (I kid you not) and usually on Mondays I partake of the cheap wine, free food and sit at the back taking part in nothing but drunken conversations. However this particular Monday cos it was really quiet the girl who runs the competitions pleaded with me to have a game of dominoes just so she had enough people, and even though Id turned up without my flat cap and pipe, being a tad drunk already, I aquiesced. Im only telling you this cos even though Im deeply ashamed I know you wont tell anyone. Anyhoo did you know the rules your grandma teaches you when your little are completely different from pub rules?? Needless to say I was appalling and got knocked out straight away, and Ill never let it happen again. I really have to try and retain a modicum of my coolness.
Made up for it a wee bit the following Wednesday by going to see Nero who had a bass so dirty it made your face look like you were in a wind tunnel. Got rip roaringly drunk and finished the evening with a manky chicken wrap. Good times!
Last Saturday was at an early Halloween party. Went as a sort of purple devil thing and this year my costume wasnt the disaster my Carrie was last year. Dunno if I ever blogged about that, but basically the dress and wig were made out of material that made my fake pigs blood go pink no matter how much of it I slopped on. The only problem I had this year was getting through doors with my wings on. Havent got any proper pics of that night yet, but heres one I took just before I went out
It was a good night, although there was this particularly annoying woman there who seemed to grope everyone in sight (including the women), get stupidly drunk (and for me to think it was stupidly drunk she musta been going some) then chuck red wine on the carpet. She also grabbed Tat (girlchild) by the hand and said with tears in her eyes how lovely it was to finally meet her because shed heard about her her whole life. Ive met this woman twice and told her nothing. Apparently after Id gone poor Emma had to carry her to the car and I gotta say this woman was not small. I dunno what she was meant to be dressed as but she looked like Boadicea with small black wings.
Biggest news we have is the new addition to our family. I now have the most teeny gorgeous grandkitty (Girlchild got him for her BFs birthday). So every Sunday now when we go over I get to have a cuddle of the most gorgeous teeny bit of fluff ever in the wooorld. Youll have to excuse my sniggering on this, but he just makes me chortle with his cuteness. My son however had to tell him that friends dont climb up friends with their razor sharp claws, specially when youre only wearing a thin t shirt.
Anywhooo gonna shurrup babbling now and hopefully tomorrow have a hop round and see what everyones been up to.
Is that or is that not the least inventive title for a blog youve ever seen? Im rather proud of it to be honest.
So this week girlchild is in Ibiza and Im getting regular updates on how fab it is (jealous… jealous… jealous…. caaaaaalm, happy for her ;O) Tomorrow she’s goin scuba diving so I will spend the day on tender hooks til I know it went ok. My baby’s gonna be at the bottom of the seeeeeeea!!! (Did you hear the wailing in that typing). Judging from her texts shes massively enjoying party central!
This week boychild started uni and so far so good although hes not used to the massive bus journeys and was cursing cos today he had to spend two hours on bus rides to be in for an hour. On Sunday night I rang my folks to ask about the bus times and stuff (cos its one they get all the time. Even though they have a perfectly good car they insist on using their free bus passes). Sadly I rang about an hour too late and they were both drunk. Have you ever tried to have a proper phone conversation with two half deaf, drunk pensioners? By the end of it, all I was really sure about was that no matter what, he didnt want to get the number 28 cos it takes FOREEEEEEVER. I could have sworn I asked what bus he should get, not what bus he shouldnt.
So finally after many arduous months Im getting a bit of time in the house to myself again. So Im currently feeling more chilled than I have for weeks in a tidy house listening to choons of my choice. Then off down to see the Odd Squad tonight for a few cheeky beers. Its bliss!
Anywho gonna leave you with the ridiculously talented Ed Sheeran randomly singing in the street.
So just a quicky before the weekend is uponce me, and it may just be me but I got this leaflet through the door the other day and it rather amused me so I thought Id share.
Ask yourself… if you fancy a take away of an evening, has it ever crossed your mind ‘ya know who I need a pizza off? the terminator thats who.’
So I dunno who’s little brain storm this was but Im not sure I wanna feel the intimidating presence of a predator peering over my shoulder while Im omnomnomming. I bet they dont have any copyright deal to do it either.
So anyway it did inspire me to check out what was on offer.
I would draw your attention to the last topping there. Sorry is it just me? Cos Ive never heard of boiled egg on a pizza and I just cant conceive of how it could possibly be a good idea.
Also if you fancy something with a bit of American appeal try the Americano kebab…
The contents of which are from many places, but nothing remotely American.
And finally if youre gonna take advantage of any of the special offers please remember…
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEEEEEEEEANS!!
Having read a couple of blogs about the anniversary of 9/11, I thought Id redress the balance a wee bit by posting this.
“The person who says it cannot be done
Should not interrupt the person doing it.”
(Chinese Proverb)
I just came across this and had to share it cos it tickled me so much.
Bacially two chatbots (which are obviously meant to talk to people) wired up to talk to eachother. Text is sent back and forward between them and then turned into speach on the screen.
I am no longer afraid robots will take over the world any time soon.
Been trying to find time to do this for daaaaaaays and when I finally get round to it Im sat here feeling rough as a badgers butt and my brains telling me ‘no thinky’ but Im gonna keep typin anyway and see what comes out :O)
So to begin with… Girl child is now comfortabley ensconsed in her own abode, boy child has been accepted into the uni of his choice, but has decided to live at home for at least the next year cos he knows which side his breads buttered on. He doesnt start until the 20th September so were still currently in bumming about mode.
I have been enjoying the sunshine and partaking in the holiday vibe (which includes drinking plenty of wine and getting to splash my feet in the sea) Oh and BBQing fried eggs. I got maaaad skills I tells ya. God I cant believe how long it is since I did a blog!
Last Monday was the wedding of the year. Well no it wasnt, it was my mate getting married to fox hunty lady. Having ‘unfortunately’ not made it to the day time do, I decided I really should show my face at the evening one. My mate was off his box drunk, and his new wife spent the entire evening with a face like a smacked bum, stalkin about askin where he was. I suspect she may be a bit of a bunny boiler. Fortunately there were a few of my mates there and we managed to have a good night in spite of things. It was interesting to see who got an invite and who didnt though, cos as part of his upwardly mobile climb he’s obviously decided a couple of his old mates just dont make the grade. Some people need a slap back to reality.
Anywhoo as part of boychild’s recreational persuits, while he’s had all this time on his hands, we’ve been working our way through this list of mind bending films he found. I’ll skip over the really famous ones (things like Inception, the Machinist, Usual Suspects and that kinda thing). If you find yourself with time on your hands and want to spend some time scratching your head, these would be my recommendations…
Getting the booby prize for completely wierd and slightly disturbing we have Pi (which I don’t seem to have the mathematical symbol for on my keyboard).
Coming in third, not overly one to make you scratch your head but it was just rather good, Dark City.
In second place the somewhat confusing but very beautiful The Fountain.
And romping away in first place with its ability to make you go ‘what just happened?’ we have Primer. Low budget and written by a mathematician it explores the ramifications of time travel. This one made my brain melt and I need to watch it at least twice more to even begin getting my head round it.
