Define Normal.

Well even if you did groan at the last lot of jokes I dont care.  My options are very limited here ya know and if I stopped sniggering at bad jokes Id have to stop talking to most of you ;O) Eeeeeeeeeeesh – Im just feeling cheeky today I guess.  Flu is abating nicely although my son is not helping at all cos hes having a Rock Band afternoon with his mate and his drums are set up in front of the fire so I cant turn it on without flambéing one side of him.  So its a bit nippy in here.
 
Anyway I still have a few more duck jokes to get out my system so here we go…..
 
 
A duck walks into a pet store and says to the clerk, “Got any duck food?”
“No,” says the clerk, “we only sell dog food and cat food.”
“OK,” says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?”
The clerk once again replies, “No, like I told you, we only sell cat food and dog food.”
“OK,” says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?”
The clerk says, “Hey look, I told you two times already that we only sell cat food and dog food!”
“OK,” says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?”
This time the clerk yells, “We don’t sell any duck food and if you come in here one more time asking, I am going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground!”
“OK,” says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any nails?”
“No,” says the confused clerk.
Then the duck says, “Got any duck food?”
 
A man orders chop suey in a restaurant.  The waiter brings out a pot with a lid but the man’s afraid to eat it because every so often the lid lifts up a wee bit and a wee pair of eyes peer out at him.  He calls the waiter over, points it out, and asks "Are you sure that’s chop suey?".  The waiter goes, "Oh sorry sir, my mistake – I’ve brought you Peking duck." 
 
 
 
Ahem – Ill get me coat then….
 
 
 
 

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13 Responses to “Define Normal.”

  1. My feathery friend returns lol now no pooping on my rug n eating the pillows thats kinda cannibalism ill have you know!i was cleaning up for days!oh the porn it mite help if you had a guestbook hmmm!as for mark no hun his fecking family have him hidden after all im only the mother of his kids nothing fecking special hmm soz i ranted!it hurts bigtime hun,my mind clicked thats why i had mark nicked the rest is history!hope youre ok hugs m xs

  2. Glad you\’re feeling a bit better, shame about the jokes pmsl xxx

  3. Getting your coat? Since when did you lot wear coats? As for that surprize attack……. don\’t you just hate when that happens?Glad you\’re feeling yourself again….. no, that\’s not right… oh.. maybe it is…. oh, who knows?Love \’n\’ Hugz, Dafxxx

  4. It\’s nice of you to to waddle your ass to my side of spaces. All is well here. I thought maybe you had something stuck up your a$$ Did you float over a cork or something? Hope all is going well. I\’m ready for some hot summer nights.Have a good one, LK;-)

  5. FANTASTIC!!!!! I just loved that joke about Peking Duck lmfao **snigger**Can\’t type for giggling.Hugs Toots xx

  6. I don\’t know about normal but, A man is driving a pick-up truck down the road with a bunch of ducks standing in the back. A police officer pulls over the driver, informs him that he is speeding and then asks him where he\’s going with all those ducks. The driver says that he doesn\’t know what to do with them anymore. The officer says, "Look, there\’s a zoo not far from here and that\’s where you should take them." The man thanks the officer and drives off with his ducks.The next day the officer again sees the same pick-up truck barreling down the road. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are wearing sunglasses. The officer pulls the driver over and says, "I thought I told you to take those ducks to the zoo!" "I did," said the driver, "but now they want to go to the beach!" he heTCCx

  7. Planet Nicola Says:

    Define normal? You\’re asking ME????Well back in the day the saying was, it\’s like shootin\’ fish in a barrel….now it\’s like shootin\’ sharks in a swimming pool! Things used to be so simple!Where\’s Roy Scheider when ya need him?? sheesh!xxxGlad you\’re on the mend.

  8. Emma Louise Says:

    LMAOPSMLROFLCOPTERLOL…. that is all xxx

  9. Emma Louise Says:

    I\’ve lost all the spaces on my blog list, there is only yours still active now Im devastated! xxx

  10. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY I\’m glad ya like my choice of juke box choon… kinda likin that myself :oD I have popped in here to say that I loooove the jokies ya got here…. sadly I only have one and its a one liner, and a question at that… Not to mention you may have seen it a billion trillion squeeloojillion times before, but here it is anyway…How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?Please, don\’t beat me for the bad joke *giggles* :o)ANYWAY, I do feel I need to shut up and varnish now. I have a house to build, 53,204 pigs to feed, 3 sheep to shear, and a depressed horse to cheer up. Not sure if he\’s actually depressed, but he\’s got that look on his face. (lmao)ANYWAY, I\’m off to the distant lands of thieves and ghosts. But don\’t worry about me, I have sammidges.LUV n HUGS!!!BBFNHB!!!(^_^)XXXXXX………

  11. PS – LOVE the pool shark joke too!! *giggles*(^_^)x………

  12. Daft Sod !lol

  13. Did I hear someone\’s sharing their sheep ?

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