Spam spam spam….


So Ive just gotten this really sad email off someone I dont know called Ben.

Poor Ben is in a heck of a predicament it would seem and needs me to help him get pots of cash out of an unspecified country.  His father married some woman,  who ‘apparently’ became his step mother.  I mention this cos I thought either she did or she didnt and theres no apparently about it.  Be like me saying I have two children,  and apparently Im their mother. LMAO.  Anyway I digress.  He did have my sympathy until he got to the part where he said he was ‘being forced to undertake work befitting only a servant’…..

Yep…..  ya lost me there Ben,  cos in my house thats me and I dont feel the need to write to you and say ‘can I come live with ya?’  What is work befitting only a servant anyway?  I reckon Bens got delusions of grandeur and hed come round my house and sit with his feet on the coffee table and eat me biscuits,  while I tidied up round him.  He’d never offer to even push the hoover round or wash a cup.  I know his type. 

Oh and thats another thing,  at the end of the email he says he wants my phone number and address so he can ‘communicate with me at any time’.  Well quite frankly theres times I dont feel like being communicated with.  Like when Im asleep for example or having me tea….

So Ive decided Im declining his kind offer of pots of Euros (everyone knows Euros dont really exist anyway and were invented by the Germans cos they were sick of bartering with bratwurst….),  but if anyone wants him I can forward the email. All I need is your name address and credit card details and Ill pass him along……



6 Responses to “Spam spam spam….”

  1. Isn\’t a Poor Ben one of those black aniseedy sweeties that no one in their right mind likes? Let me guess, you like them don\’t you?That sammidge picture looks very appetizing. There\’s your five-a-day right there. Mmmmmmmmmmm…. spam. Lovely spam. Wonderful spam.. spam… spam.. spam….. bugger me, where did these vikings come from?If you feel like supporting a Poor Ben, support the original, not this fly-by-night shyster with pots of Euros to share & Licorice,Stevexxx

  2. Servant?? SERVANT?? He can have my fooking job. I\’m shyte-shoveller in this house.. Slave more springs to mind. A servant gets treated well don\’t they??? Grumble grumble…. Best go. Got dinner to sort out lmao.Love n hugsFluffxx

  3. Poor Ben, how could you be so mean??? x

  4. PMSL ohhhh that\’s got me chuckling. I get those all the time and my heart really bleeds for them. Maybe Ben could get a job!!!Bright Blessings xxx

  5. Emma Louise Says:

    Haha, well that definately cheered me up! I love those emails! xxx

  6. To the tune of Ben by Michael JacksonBen, I’d like to thank you for your mailYou told me your problem, it entailsYou’re pleasant existence has gone You have a new step momAnd servant work to doIt sounds a pile of poohIt sounds a pile of pooh Ben, the offer of euro’s sounds greatCould be seen as something close to fateBut, it’s just a matter of trustI’m feeling dubiousI’m reluctant to e-mailMy personal detailsMy personal detailsSo Ben, I’m sorry that I cannot aideYou, your argument don’t make the gradeYou want to communicateNo, not on your life mateThis really is the endDon’t want to be your friendDon’t want to be your friend***Mad, Bad & Dangerous To Know Monday Hugs***DB xxx

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