Doctor Doctor….

We just had the shortest power cut ever,  long enough for my puter to reboot so I lost the blog I was in the middle of typing and for half the house alarms in the near vacinity to go off,  but so short the telly (which is getting on a bit) didnt actually realize.

So anyway todays blog is about quacks of the medical kind (yeah the duck link’s tenuous but what ya gonna do?)

 
 
What you do not want to hear the doctor say during surgery.
Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?
Don’t worry; I think it’s sharp enough.
"You know, there’s big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy’s got two of them."
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
Hand me that…uh…that…uh…..thingie.
What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change…!
Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
Damn, there go the lights again…
Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"
Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
 
…………..
 
A guy walks into a doctor’s office and stutters, "Da-da-doc, I’ve ba-ba-been sta-sta-stuttering for ye-ye-years, and I ca-ca-can’t stand it anymo-mo-more! Can you he-he-help me?"

The doctor answers "Well, I’ll have to give you a thorough examination first, but in some cases there is a cure." So the doctor puts the guy through a battery of tests, and says, "I think I know what’s causing your stuttering."

The guy excitedly asks, "Well, wa-wa-what is it, da- da-doctor?"

"It’s your penis. I know that sounds crazy, but you have an unusually large penis – it’s almost two feet long. It seems the weight is putting a strain on your vocal cords which most men never have to deal with."

The guy asks, "Wa-wa-what can we da-da-do?"

"Well, we could remove it and transplant a shorter one."

"Do it!" the guy replies. So they go through the operation, and three weeks later the guy comes in for a follow up appointment. He says, "Doc, you solved my stuttering problem. I don’t know how to thank you. But I’ve only had sex once in three weeks – my wife just doesn’t like it anymore with my new, shorter penis. I’ve thought about it, and I decided I can put up with the stuttering easier than going without the sex – I want you to put my long one back on."

The doctor says, "No-no-nope. A da-da-deal’s a da-da- deal!"

…………………….
 
And finally,  Im sure last time I was at the docs I saw this bloke….
 
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5 Responses to “Doctor Doctor….”

  1. hahaha … for starters, smart telly!!!! goes on no matter what! good on it!!!so … do I go for guys that stutter? and what if he just stutters … TW\’LL BE YOUR ARSE AT RISK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehetake good care of you and have a wonderful week!!! PS. – I always promised I\’ll start working hard at 70 yrs old, just to get my pension now … nobody believes me … WHY????HATE MON. TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Emma Louise Says:

    Ah so you had a power cut too! I walked into my mothers at about 3.30 yesterday and the whole lot went off! Your doctor jokes are fab lol! Drinks tomorrow still? xxx

  3. Hi Daf lol @ the doctor jokes. Thanx for the comment, I\’ve been trying to even things up with the male white vanners/mechanics etc for ages!! Mind you, the occasional toot from them is great for the ego lol

  4. mee mah ma meeh ma – hows goin friendly duck? I won\’t bovver asking you if you want to go to krakow in a fortnight for the skiing -doo di dooodda once shitten twice dry as they say…..HugsBob xx

  5. Hiya cute stuff =)Thanx for stopping by.it\’s ALWAYS great to see you visit my space.here is a giftie for ya.http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/3933/catpattysday.gifBig Time Hugs To Ya….Shannon

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