Title (required)

First I really have to apologise.  I keep trying to get round and say hello but something always seems to interrupt me. 
 
So been up to the usual – several nights in and out drinking heavily,  making bad jokes and forgetting most of it.
 
I was reading about the human brain the other day and took much comfort from the fact that were all on the decline learning and memory wise,  from the age of roughly 27,  but after that our wisdom keeps growing and we also see the nicer side of life (Im slightly sceptical of this,  cos Ive met some right grumpy old people in my time but hey ho who am I to argue with the brain boffins).  Also it said that brain exercises really do help but physical exercise helps much more.  So Im thinking Im gonna dance my ass off til I drop. 
 
On Saturday son of mine went off to a party in a pub taking beer with him.  First time hes ever done this and I was a tad apprehensive.  Neednt have worried – turns out both my kids have much more sense than me and he was fine.  Unlike his mate who got to the door of the pub already so pissed the bouncer took one look at him and said ‘no chance son’.
 
Anyway just wouldnt be right if I didnt finish with a couple of jokes……
 
 
 
Q: What has four legs and an arm?

A: A happy pit bull.

 
 
 
When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
 
 
 

For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it."

The next day the father sees little Joe headed out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Joe told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom your pulling out. Then I heard her telling you to wait because she was coming too. And I’ll be damned if I’m staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no bike!"

 

Have a good one folks

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8 Responses to “Title (required)”

  1. Emma Louise Says:

    Haha I heard this joke on the Radio this morning…. A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won\’t be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade,killing them both. What can he do?Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.He moves on to the last job, which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lions cage because lions eat anything.Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lionand says "What\’s the food like here?"The lions say: "Absolutely brlliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."

  2. hey hun im losing you do i scare you that much that you gotta run away lol hope all is well in your world hugs m xs

  3. I\’ve come here to chew bubble gum and to kick ass…. Im all out of bubble gum and my feet hurt… so if you don\’t mind I\’ll have a nose around in your bloggy cupboards, raid your bloggy fridge, eat your bloggy food, put my feet up on your bloggy furniture, use your bloggy toilet and leave the seat up, and wish you the most fabulous day I can possibly think of!!!!Plus I needed to come here coz I havent been for a while…. and I have to say I liked the doggy joke best ;o) Aw man but I am so sleepy now… Just got in half an hour ago and I am in need of a pillow. That damn wind (outside the house) kept waking me up knocking stuff over out back!!! I was almost wishing it had snowed instead! but not totally wishing it of course *giggles*ANYWAY, I am gonna head off now and have some kip and warm up under me duvet coz its freezin in this house for some reason…. and I\’m waffling aren\’t I… So I shall leave you with a word of wisdom my great granddaughter left me 60 years from now…A day without sunshine is like… night. So Don\’t forget to turn on the… light.Adimos sigoretta!Luv n Hugs!!!BBFNHB!!!(^_^)XXXXX………..

  4. Hiya Daf! :)You\’re friend aint the only one to do something like that, I read the first voice of reason to break the ranks of the rich and famous and tell it like it is on her. It was Parky! He said she epitamised everything that is wrong with Britain, and he was right! Stupidity, greed and respect for nothing! If ya going to hell for laughing at her workout vid then you\’re in good company, you shoulda heard me when my mam told me she\’s getting a statue made of her and a TV film! I\’ll tell anyone the truth about her AND Diana, she was one hell of a manipulative woman!On to your blog, it seems you\’ve been pissed again? Well done my friend! LOL! The that keeps interupting you when trying to reply is you putting ya typing hand on ya bottle of wine! hahaWe go down hill mentally aftre 27? I\’m sure that figure will be revised at some point in the future, these scientists arealways revise what they say! Didn\’t Doctors used to prescibe a hot toddy and a cig for a cold 50 years ago? LOL! Don\’t listen t \’em and do what ya wanna do in life! :)Anyway, I\’m off, Daf, gonna have some late lunch. Catch you soon poppet! 🙂

  5. HEHEHE … do ya know that I start smiling even before a get to read your blog? I ALWAYS KNOW … IT MUST BE SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY!!!! Thaaaaaaaaaanks.Joke:A brain walks into a bar and says, "I\’ll have a pint of beer please."The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can\’t serve you.""Why not?" askes the brain."You\’re already out of your head."PS. Brain exercises help a lot, but physical … is the best. Look at me: I run almost every day (mostly from responsabilities .. lol)and at 40, I have a mind of 18 yrs old (so I am told). So you can move your ass around in what you call dancing and tell me if your upper room matter (same consistency as tofu, by the wway) has improved. If yes, I\’ll start grooving … and sure enough groaning as I haven\’t danced in months now.Take care and have a great day! LOVE, Alex xxx

  6. Oh, and apologies accepted !!!!I JUST MISS YOU WHEN YOU\’RE NOT AROUND !!!!! that\’s all.Have a smashing weekend. LOVE, Alex xxx

  7. I think all of me is rapidly dropping to bits of late lmao. Still least I will have forgot in the next second or so lol. Dunno what\’s up with me of late, think I need some excitement in my life or summet. Was so bored yesterday I was even talking to the telly lmao. You have fun doing what ya do and make no apologies just enjoy it.Bright blessings xxx

  8. Mazeeeeeooow Says:

    ffffffkin hard innit, tryin to navigate round these spaces. :Djust passing throo, heh heh x

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