What is that sound?

At the moment when I turn my computer on it sounds like theres a light aircraft in there.  Turned it on yesterday and my son asked me if the mother ship had landed.  Reckon it needs a hoover out,  but the last time I did that I sucked a bit up so maybe a bit more carefully this time. 
Completely changing the subject I wanna know why it is that I buy a pair of the stupidly stupidest high heels and they fit like a glove and feel comfy as anything,  but a pair of flat sandals that I should be able to wear all day cut my feet to bits. There is no logic to this and Im obviously just meant to look like a hooker. 
Anyway Im feeling kinda fluffy today so Im in the mood for….

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