By the Hammer of Thor!

Been reading a bit about the old Norse religion and I’ve decided to adopt it. Not being of a religious ilk at all I feel free to adopt any on a whim and drop it when something more interesting comes along, such as new shoes or a nice sandwich (well who doesn’t love a really good sandwich?).

So my reasons for this are as follows..

1) No going to church. If you feel the urge to take a time out to tell the Gods you think they’re great you just go off and sit in a wood or something. If you do come across a goup of like minded folk there are no ceremonies or anything, you just all have a big beer party to celebrate the fact you don’t have to go to church but you all like the same thing (ok I may be paraphrasing what I read a wee bit there).

2) No bowing or scraping or anything. The Gods are your equals and allies and quite frankly sound like the kinda folk I’d like to have my back if I get in a row in the pub.

3) No sacrificing virgins or any of that guff. Only kings and only if they do a shite job.

4) If you’re gonna have an end of the world story (which most religions seem to) why not have one with giant wolves. It’s just cool.

5) (And most important as far as I’m concerned) When frustrated or annoyed or shocked instead of the usual ‘my God’ or ‘bloody hell’ you get to say stuff like ‘BY THE HAMMER OF THOR!’ or ‘BY ODINS BEARD!’.

The only slight niggle I have is, how the hell do you pronounce this?

ThorsHammerCU1

 

So moving along. ย Did you hear about that bloke that bought two ‘toy poodles’ in an Argentinian market? When he got them home it turned out they were not the adorable little fur balls he’d expected but were in fact ferrets on steroids having a bit of a bad hair day. ย So just in case anyone’s tempted by cheap puppies I suggest you print out the picture below and carry it with you when you go to make your purchases.

ferret poodles

Seriously that picture of the ferret on the right haunts my dreams!

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4 Responses to “By the Hammer of Thor!”

  1. By the Thor of dozy Cameron’s thong I don’t believe it, wow another posting and how wicked of you to adopt a Naked Norseman idea, or is it something to do with Vikings, the manly hunks with big weapons, or perhaps just the guzzling of beer every time a shitty King gets slaughtered that caught your attention? ๐Ÿ™‚ lol

    Hey and that ferret needs
    a good home too you know:)

    Have a fantastic Hump Day
    Daffy and be good too or else? ๐Ÿ˜‰ lol

    Andro xxxx

  2. Good idea! ๐Ÿ™‚

    The bad news is you have to die in battle, not in old age, or you go to hell!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Which Thor do you prefer – A hunky muscle bound guy with a big hammer (Oooer!!!) or the Stargate SG1 version???

    What a choice: Brawn or brains… ๐Ÿ™‚

    We used to have a pet ferret which used to nibble my earlobes and try to drag me under the sofa so it could store me as food!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Love and hugs!

    Prenin.

  3. Hiyaaaaaaaaaaa daffington!

    Well, with you being from the North-East you’re most likely of Viking blood anyway, so it makes sense to adopt the religion of your ancestors.

    However the current people and the law in the UK don’t look too kindly on the whole rape and pillaging thing. Well, I can see you doing the pillaging but not the rape so much.

    How could anyone confuse a live animal for a stuffed toy, I mean seriously? Were the ferrets sedated or something? (O_o)

    I hope you week’s been good thus far too, mate.

    Hugskis and stuffski to ya xx

    – Phil

  4. WordsFallFromMyEyes Says:

    Love your sense of humour here ๐Ÿ™‚

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