Unfortunate Meals, Bazza Manilow and making it Weird.
Sunday night I went to see Bazza Manilow. Not my usual kind of gig I grant you but sometimes you just have to embrace the cheese and spank your inner Copacabana. It was awesome! However, there was this little spiky haired man next to me, and two songs in he thought it was time to put his arm round my shoulder and do a group sway. Now being a bit of a veteran gig goer this is nothing new, but timing is everything and two songs in is just too soon. He spent the rest of the gig giving me awkward side ways glances. Way to make things weird little man!
Something else that has occurred to me lately is the lack of round plates in restaurants. Is there a shortage I’m not aware of? I went out for a meal the other day. My meal came on a long thin rectangular thing that looked like it would have been more at home on a windowsill with plant pots on it. There was also a small metal bucket on it that had chips in. My friend’s meal came on a chopping board and was also accompanied by the small bucket of chips. Our starters came on ceramic versions of the bed pans they use in hospitals. What bothers me most about this is, if the restaurant you are in serves you your food in this manner, you can immediately expect to pay 25% more than you would at a restaurant that had the foresight to stock up on round plates before the round plate crash of 2014. I guess maybe they need the extra cash to save up for normal plates.
The really unfortunate incident happened on Monday. Now me, I like a bit of vinegar, and I guess this was my own fault, because foolishly I trusted the little jug of vinegar on the table with the tiny stopper. It lulled me into a false sense of security and without a thought for how stupendously stupid people can be I tipped some on my lunch. I was immediately smacked round the nose by a vile stench, because someone had decided to put milk in it. At least I hope it was milk but who knows really. I just don’t understand that thought process. ‘Would you look at that I have too much milk for my tea. What shall I do with it? I mean I could just leave it in it’s tiny milk jug and let the waiter take it away when they clear the table. But no that seems too simple. Maybe it’s a trap. Maybe the waiter will be cross. Maybe I’ll end up paying the square plate tax. I know what I’ll do. I’ll hide it in this jug of vinegar…. There we go, job done and relax.’ Fortunately the restaurant was very understanding and replaced my meal.
Gonna leave you with this. I laughed sooo hard.